Please Let Me Be Wrong [Connor]

[Lucien Pardaillan de Godrin]

Lucien had heard about it the whole while he was walking down the hall from Charms class. Some Ravenclaws were talking about two other Ravenclaws who were seen kissing when they thought no one else was around. He chuckled at the thought that whenever Lucien tried to snuck a kiss on Connor, someone might have seen them too. But as he walked, he caught the words 'Connor', 'Trevor', and 'going out'. Lucien froze instantly. Did he hear just right? Connor was kissing someone else? I couldnt be. It was impossible. Connor, his cherub, would never do that. But Lucien's heart felt worried. He was restless and the only way to calm hi down was to ask.



He quickly made his way to the library, knowing well that Connor would be there. And as predicted, his beloved was there, facing books and parchments like always. Lucien wanted to smile but he couldn't. He was very worried. He called out softly as he placed a kiss on Connor's forehead like always. "Hey... Your studying hard again." he said as he sat down next to his boyfriend. Lucien's heart was racing. How was he even going to ask?

[Connor Micheal Collins]

Looking up as soon as her heard Lucien's voice, Connor really didn't want to see him right now. He still hadn't figured out how to tell him, he knew he shouldn't have done it, but Trevor was going to walk away and he panicked. Looking up at his boyfriend, Connor tried to smile, it was shaky and poor, but it was a smile. Looking back to his book, he nodded slowly, he wasn't really studying, it was more free time reading, but he didn't bother to correct Lucien. As his boyfriend sat next to him, Connor broke.

"Lucien..I'm so sorry. I kissed someone. I'm sorry, please please don't hate me. I didn't, I shouldn't...Merlin, I'm so sorry." Connor didn't know what to say, but he turned to look at Lucien, leaving his book alone completely. He was scared, he didn't want Lucien to walk away, he didn't want to loose this. At all. "I'm sorry, I didn't think it was going to happen when it did and I don't know. I guess I did, but I'm really sorry."

The blonde boy really did just want to make a friend, Lucien was busy a lot, and Connor was little lonely. Trevor was nice talking to him, but as soon as Connor wasn't going to let him kiss him, Trevor was going to walk. Connor had caved. He wanted a friend, but that was not something for obviously. But lying to Lucien was not something Connor could afford to do again, he remember how upset Lucien was the last time, he couldn't do that again. Grabbing Lucien's hand, "Don't hate me. Please. I...I don't know." The Ravenclaw was pleading, not even caring who heard them, he hated himself so much right now, he didn't want anything but to hear Lucien wasn't going to leave him. Or hate him.

[Lucien Pardaillan de Godrin]

Lucien saw the smile but it wasn't like the other smiles that was normally there. This led to Lucien feeling more worried. He was then buried in his thoughts of how to ASK Connor about the rumor/gossip he heard when Connor himself just blurted out an apology. He blinked for a few moments before he wrapped his arms around Connor. He could feel the fear as the body in his arms was shaking a bit. He comforted Connor as best as he could even if he was hurting himself.

"Ssshhh... Its alright, Cherub. Its alright. Everything will be alright." he said softly as he kissed Connor's forehead. This was a test and a punishment for Lucien because he was always busy with other things. However, he was more worried when Connor asked to not hate him. Lucien sighed as he placed hand on Connor's cheek to raise the other's face up to meet his own. "I can never hate you cherub. I... I know that I have been so busy and you must have been lonely and that this other Ravenclaw must have been there for you. I can understand that. I'm the one who should apologize. I AM SORRY. Sorry for not being there. Sorry for leaving you all alone." he said as he placed his forehead against Connor, his arms still wrapped around the other.

[Connor Micheal Collins]

Bottom lip templing, he wasn't sure what to do, Trevor was nice, but this was Lucien. His boyfriend. His best friend. Really, before Trevor, his only friend. But it wasn't Lucien's fault, Connor was a big boy, he could say no, but he didn't. He wanted a friend bad enough that he actually went against his boyfriend, and Lucien was actually comforting him, even though Connor was the one in the wrong. "I'm sorry. I really am. I, I don't know why I didn't say no. I should have let him walk away, but I didn't. It's not your fault, I did this. Merlin, I didn't know how to tell you. I wanted to, I really did, but I was so scared you'd walk away..and I wouldn't be able to get angry about it either...and I'm just sorry."

He moved his arms around Lucien's middle, he didn't mean it. He didn't want to loose the other male at all, he just wanted to have more than just Lucien, because Lucien had more than just him. But it wasn't Lucien's fault that Connor was stupid with people, Connor should have just known better. When he heard the word Ravenclaw, Connor froze. How did Lucien already know that?"You..you heard about it." That meant Connor was lying again, Lucien already told him not to do that again, Connor promised he wouldn't. "I..Lucien, I swear I was going to tell you. I didn't mean to hide it, I was just..no, no excuses. But I wasn't going to lie about it or hide from you, I did learn that the last time you got upset..when I didn't tell you about me missing classes and getting detention." Connor did, he hadn't feeling like this, he didn't let go of boyfriend though. As if it was making all the difference int he world.

[Lucien Pardaillan de Godrin]

Lucien was worried that this would affect Connor so much that he'd be depressed for a long while. And he didn't want that. He wanted a happy and smiling Connor. His cherub happy and smiling and laughing. He held Connor tighter and closer to him. "Cherub... I know. Its alright. I cant explain it... But when I heard, I feared that it was you who would leave me. I got worried. That because I wasnt around as much as you needed me, that you found someone else who would be there for you more than I can and I was scared." he said as he placed light kisses all over Connor's face before kissing Connor for a long and deep moment.

He nodded, "I heard just half an hour ago before I came here. I just got out from Charms. Some girls were talking about it, saying that they saw it happen when you both thought no one was around. I didn't want to believe them. I had to pause and take a long breath before I went searching for you. I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to lose you." he said as gently as he could. He felt a bit better when Connor said that he wasn't going to hide it. That he just didn't know how to tell Lucien. He felt relieved that Connor wasn't leaving. He wasn't right?

[Connor Micheal Collins]

Shaking his head against Lucien's chest, "No, I'm not leaving. I swear. I was so scared Lucien, I didn't know how to tell you. It was such a bad thing for me to do to you, and I just panicked. It wasn't fair, and so what if your busy? That doesn't mean I can that. I didn't want to, but I did, but I don't know. I didn't want to hurt you. I really don't want to break up. And I really do feel awful about it." Connor told him the truth, he didn't see a reason in trying to hold back how terrible he felt. Then Lucien would think he didn't care or that he didn't feel bad, when he did! He really really did!

"I was going to tell you. It's..I love you I was so scared after we did it. I knew you were going to be upset, and it's not okay. I knew that, but I just didn't let that stop me. It should have, I can't..Merlin Lucien, you aren't going to loose me. I swear. I thought I was going to loose you once you heard." Connor relaxed into his boyfriend's hold, but not letting go himself.

[Lucien Pardaillan de Godrin]

Lucien was scared but he felt relieved at the same time. "Want to know something? For the short time that we have been together, I managed to understand this aura surrounding you. I don't know if you noticed but because of that, I learned to understand. I know how you feel. I know your sorry. I know you didnt mean to. I know you care for me too. I love you so much cherub that it hurts but I fear losing you more. I don't want that to happen." Lucien explained as best as his heart could. He wasn't lying though. He could excuse this ecause Connor meant he was sorry. He didn't want to lose Connor and this just proved that Lucien had been slacking.

When Connor said that he loved him, Lucien's heart soared and he kissed the trembling Ravenclaw in his arms. "You won't lose me. I am not letting you be taken from me. I will fight for you. You are mine, Connor Michael Collins as I am yours. Only yours. Always know that." he said as he kissed Connor again and again.

[Connor Micheal Collins]

Putting his head under Lucien's shin, most of his own body was out of his chair over Lucien, but Connor didn't care. It was awkward and little uncomfortable, but Connor didn't want to let go, he didn't want to move. He want stay right where he was until they were okay again, because he still felt terrible. "I like being yours. Only yours. No need to fight, I'm already here." Connor wasn't going to make the same mistake twice, but he didn't want to loose Trevor has a friend either.

"Can..will you be upset if I stay friends with Trevor?" Connor whispered, unsure about the question, even more unsure about the answer.

[Lucien Pardaillan de Godrin]

When Connor reassured Lucien that Connor wasn't leaving him and that Connor was his alone, Lucien felt so much better. He shifted on his seat so he could get into a better position with his beloved still in his arms. He lifted Connor to fully sit on his lap and hold him close. Lucien would use any excuse to be close. "Your here... I'm here... And it will stay that way." Yeah, there was no way Lucien was going to give up Connor, he beloved cherub.

When Connor asked if it was alright that he stayed friends with this Trevor guy, Lucien was half ready to say no. But he sighed. "AS long as he doesnt make a pass at you, I won't protest." he answered as best as he could. And he wasnt lying.

[Connor Micheal Collins]

When Lucien moved him, the taller male felt extra small, Connor didn't protest though. Wanting to be as close as possible, he moved his arms around Lucien's stomach and laid his head on his boyfriend's chest, sitting sideways letting his body curl up into Lucien. He nodded, it would stay that way. Yes, for long as they could. He wanted it to be that way too.

Unsure of what Trevor would do, Connor nodded anyway, maybe he should talk to him. He looked up a little, seeing more Lucien's shoulder than his face, he spoke again, "Would it upset you if I hung out with him?" Connor asked, he didn't want to make anymore issues. Every issue they've had so far, as been Connor's fault. He didn't want to mess up again.