This Is It... [Pepijn]

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Jason walked about the flat anxiously rearranging everything so that it seemed just right, he'd asked Chelsea to tidy away what toys she could before leaving to take her to her friends house for the night... but whether the little girl had put much effort into it was a completely different story. At least she had tried though, something Jason couldn't fault her for. Picking up a stray teddy he sighed, why was he getting so touchy about this? He'd been seeing Pepijn for a while now, it wasn't as if the man was a stranger. Somehow though it mattered to him. Pepijn was the first man... person he'd brought home since Chelsea had moved in with him. Yes there had been the odd one night stand, some even lasting a few weeks into a relationship but nothing ever serious enough to get to the stage of inviting the person to his. Deep down in his gut though he just had this feeling about Pepijn... he was special; unlike any other that Jason had considered. Innocent compared to the drunk asses who seemed to find him usually, finally someone who Jason didn't mind introducing to his pride and joy of a daughter.

Being broken from his thoughts at the sound of the door bell Jason quickly made his way across the laminate flooring to let his guest in. He wasn't exactly the best at playing host but he tried to make the effort and making Pepijn stand alone out in the stairwell (as the flat was on the second floor) didn't seem to be going the right way. Swinging the door open he greeted the man with a wide smile, "hey, welcome! Sorry about the mess." Realising the small brown teddy bear was in his hand, he used his spare to run through his shaven blonde hair before laughing at himself. Shrugging it off he simply commented "daughters" before stepping to the side to let the man in. Jason just prayed that everything went smoothly, the last thing he wanted to do was chase the guy off. He'd come to like him far too much for that.

Closing the door behind his guest, he turned to place the teddy on the small cupboard beside the entrance. His home wasn't much but it was enough for him, he'd worked hard for it. Wanting to embrace the man he fought against the urge, it was too soon to begin becoming all clingy with him. "So erm.... you found it ok? Can i get you a coffee or beer or something?"...

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Pepijn was nervous, very nervous. This was his first time that he was invited to somebodies home. So he had no idea what it meant or what he was supposed to expect. Earlier he told his mother that he was staying over at a friend’s place. Since he still lived with her but had not told his parents yet. He had no idea when he was supposed to tell them, afraid of how they would react. Knowing his father had always been pushing him to find a girl and get married to raise a family, the ghost probably won’t be happy by hearing he was dating a man now. Both his parents were Christians in their own way. His muggle mother never believed that magic was something evil but it could be used for evil. Just very recently he had found out that he was also into men. But knowing that it wasn’t very commonly accepted, he did nothing with it.

Until Jason came along, the man in whose house he now was going to visit. Sure he was a little older and way more experienced in life and everything but Pepijn felt safe when he was with him. Being around Jase had made him happier than with any of the few girls who he had dated. The difference was that he got the feeling that this older man was more forbearance than the girls. He wasn’t putting much pressure on the always nervous and shy Pepijn.

Standing before the door on the second floor, he took a deep breath. Before he had made the stupid mistake and had ran the bell on the first floor. Which was really quite embarrassing and had gotten the young man all red and stuttering. As okay one final breath and a hand running through his black curls and then he rang the bell. Taking a little step back, he could not believe he was actually doing this. As the door opened his gaze fell upon the blonde man who opened it. A small nervous but happy smile appeared on his face as his cheeks were still a little reddish. “Hey…” He said as he tried to cover his red cheeks . His eyes fell on the teddy bear the other man was holding. “It is cute, it fits you.” He suddenly said as he moved his eyes back to the eyes of the taller man. Knowing that the words sounded extremely stupid he lowered his head and looked at the ground. At the comment of the place being a mess, he simply shrugged, it could not be that bad right?

Setting foot in the house he waited for Jason to close the door, then he kept following Jason very close. Grabbing the back of his shirt, like he was afraid that he would lose him if he let go. Looking over the shoulders of the taller man, his eyes went through the room with curiosity. So this was his place, he smiled a little to himself as he noticed how much this was a typical man apartment with hints of a little girl living here too. “I-it is not t-that messy. My room is w-way worse, by far.” He said, over the shoulder of the other man.

“Just surprise me.” He said with a soft voice as Jason asked him if he wanted something to drink. Pepijn did not know what he wanted or what was commonly accepted to ask at this point. He just hoped that Jase would not take advantage of the ‘surprise me’ part. Every time he said that to David, the men always came back with a cocktail of different strong drinks. Only to tease him, but Pep always drank it, just to be polite. Though it would not be the best idea to get drunk now.

Clothes

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As he placed the small bear down Jason decided that the best thing to do would be to guide the other man into the living room. While he was sure Pepijn was curious about how he lived, giving him a tour of the apartment seemed a little too cliche for his own liking. There was nothing to hide so he would welcome the younger man to nose around all he wanted. "Err yeah, why don't i show you into the living room," he knew he wasnt being very slick but he was out of practice. It had been far to long since he'd done this. Before Chelsea his flat was pretty much an open house but now... now it was some sort of haven. It was scary to think it had been three years since someone else had wandered the halls like this... well not like this. This was something else... it was special.

Feeling the tug at the back of his black vest top Jason grinned to himself slightly, it amazed him how a grown man could be so adorably innocent. Not that he minded it though, it was one of the many things that attracted him to the black haired man. Moving one of his hands behind his back as he walked he searched for the hand that seemed to have a hold of him, finding it he pried the fingers one by one off the fabric and took them inside his own so they walked hand in hand. Jason couldn't help but grin to himself at the thought of Pepijn blushing behind him, he was starting to develop a rather large soft spot for the mans nervous habits. "It's only us here," he tried to reassure as they walked down the corridor towards the living room. Due to the flat being quite a small the walk that seemed to take forever had only taken mere seconds, they had soon arrived at the living room. Far too soon in Jasons opinion...

Walking into the room, Jason glanced around. It was pretty basic with two black leather couches, a small mahogany coffee table and a television; the only clutter on the floor seemed to be that of a few toys sat around a teapot from their last tea party For a guy Jason liked things basic, this room was a place to relax for him. Turning back around to Pepijn he offered one of his famous large grins, "surprise you? That could be asking for trouble." Laughing softly he nodded anyway. "Ok, back in a sec. Make yourself at home all you want," with one last squeeze he reluctantly let go of the mans hand and walked back down the corridor towards to kitchen, flexing his fingers as he walked. The lack of contact was making him feel bare again, had it ever been like this before?

Within minutes he had returned, two beers at hand. "I thought id save the coffee for later, its rare i get to drink with the kiddo around if you get what i mean," grinning he offered the drink to his companion before sipping his own and collapsing back into the sofa. "So how have you been?"... these were the type of questions people asked at moments like this weren't they? Behind the warm smile he was wearing Jason was freaking out slightly, it felt as if he was a virgin with his first crush all over again...

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 They walked down the hallway and he felt his heart pounding in his throat. Noticing the hand of Jason coming closer, Pepijn tightened his grip. As soon as he felt the hand of the other man on his, he felt the blush only growing larger. Yet the touch was pleasant and there was a small smile on his face. Not that it mattered because Jason could not see it at the moment. He highly wished that he had a little more confidence, right now he was making a fool out of himself. Only little children followed someone around like this. Then again, his parents still treated him as one. Perhaps he might never grow up.

More over all, he was bloody twenty years old a d still had not done ‘it’. There had been several times that he almost got it going with a girl. However every time he was either too nervous or too drunk to figure out what to do. Knowing that Jason had a child of five, he knew that he lacked a lot of experience in many cases. Pepijn could not even think of being a father right now, he still needed help himself with almost everything. So he slightly admired the elder man for being capable of looking after a child. “Ah I-I k-now… but s-t-till…” The black haired man found himself struggling for words as the blonde spoke to him. He could not help but be a little nervous and exited. There had been sleepless nights as he lived towards this day.

Arriving in the living room, he halted and let go of the other man’s shirt, still holding his hand. As the taller man turned around and smiled at him, Pepijn felt himself heating up. A small nervous but happy smile appeared on his pale face with red cheeks. Gosh Jason’s grin was so wonderful, it could make anyone smile. Quickly he ran a hand through his hair to hide his red ears. Not knowing what to say, he just nodded to the words of the other man. As he did the black curls bounced and danced around his head. “P-ple-lease c-come back q-quickly.” He stuttered with a soft voice as he looked at the ground of embarrassment. Then he looked up again when he felt one last tight squeeze. As the man let go of his hand, Pepijn felt his eyes go bigger for a small amount of time as he blinked. Watching hos the other man walked away.

His hand that was held by Jason before, now reached his lips. Keeping his gaze upon the corridor where he saw the blonde disappear into, he waited for his return. Suddenly being alone in a house he didn’t know, he felt rather small and weak. Not moving a single bit until he saw Jason coming back with two beers. A smile returned on his face as the other man offered the drink and spoke. “I-I guess t-that I will have t-to adjust my h-hab-bits if I-I want to v-visit you more often, t-then.” He joked a little and accepted the beer as he touched the hand of the other man on purpose before taking the drink.

Following the example of the man of the house, Pepijn sat down more carefully. Taking several sips of the drink, he held the bottle in both of his hands as he tried to make himself a little more relaxed. Not knowing if it was appropriate, he leaned with his head against the other man’s shoulder. Yet he turned it a little so he could see him. As he was asked how he was doing, he blinked a little, trying to come up with an answer. “A-all right, I g-guess.” He said, “I h-have been rather b-busy. My t-trainer says t-that I might be a f-fully trained h-healer next year. T-that is pretty fast ap-parently. And you?”

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Jason grinned to himself as Pepijn reached out to take the bottle, what the younger of the two didnt realise was that it had hit home with Jason alot more then he let on. Just the idea of the curly haired man wanting to come here more often brought some form of butterflies to his stomach. It was a feeling that Jason was struggling to put into words at this precise moment... it was special. When both their hands made contact, it was as if an electric spark travelled up Jasons arm, the contact although small and brief was something enough that managed to catch his attention. Jason forced himself to sit down to hide any reaction he may have showed. He was meant to be the confident and forward one, not the one who giggled at feint touches.

Taking a sip of his own beer he was glad that his pepijn sat down next to him. His pepijn? Since when had he started referring to him as that. Before he had chance to contemplate it however he jumped slightly in surprise when the younger man rested against him. He knew Pepijn wasnt the most confident and seemed somewhat reluctant so just the idea of him instigating the contact was enough to make him feel fuzzy inside, it made him feel as if this wasn't all on his side. It was almost proof that the feelings were mutual. Sitting back into the sofa to make himself more comfy before he moved the arm that Pepijn had been resting against so that it lay across his dates shoulders. He looked for a reaction to see if he was pushing his luck too much? Hoping he hadn't he nodded in understanding as his question was answered.

"O wow..," he exclaimed, his eyebrows raised in surprise at the timid man's news. "That's amazing, im really impressed. Well done," he congratulated him before taking another sip from his bottle. "You must have amazing brains then as well as looks," he couldn't help but tease as an after thought. Although the younger man may not have believed him, Jason found Pepijn extremely attractive. He may have been shorter, skinnier and more timid than Jason but in his eyes he was perfect. "So what got you started in medicine?" The thought crossed his mind. Although the pair had been on dates before it was one question he didn't think he'd ever gotten around to asking. When the original question was asked back at him, Jason paused for a moment and considered his answer, "just the same in all honesty. Works been rather hectic especially with making sure im finished in time to pick up Chelsea from nursery, but nothing special has happened. Well apart from now."

Stretching out Jason kicked both his shoes off so that they flew a few feet away from the pair."You can do whatever you want here to make yourself comfortable you know? Might as well treat this place like everyone else. Its hardly a sanctuary with a loud 5 year old ruling the roost," he offered turning his attention back to his date. "So, now that you have me all to yourself what do you fancy doing tonight?" ...

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Pepijn chuckled a little to himself as he noticed how the more masculine man tried to hide away his reaction. It may be a little mean of him, but Pepijn actually thought it was adorable. Jason looked like the typical tough guy, short shaved hair and a buffed body. Yet there was something really sweet and admirable hidden beneath the cool surface. The fact that Jason tried to hide made him wonder why. Still he did not bring it up, since he didn’t want to make the older man uncomfortable.

As Jason jumped up a little when Pepijn touched him, he felt like he had done something wrong. Perhaps it wasn’t his right to hope that Jason would just be okay with this. It was obvious that Pepijn didn’t have much experience with physical contact yet he tried. He just didn’t know if what he was doing was normal, it just felt right to him. Suddenly he felt that Jason was adjusting himself and felt an arm on his shoulders. First there was a cold shiver going through his body but then it turned into a pleasant warm glow. He decided to look up and smiled at the blonde man, to give him the signal that this was all just fine. Then he proceeded in drinking a little more of his drink. Noticing his hands were a little shaky, he put the bottle on his lap and held it again with two hands. Staring blankly at the bottle as he tried to keep his body calm.

The corners of his lips curled up when Jason started with praising him. Pepijn did not know how to handle it but he didn’t have much time to think either. When the teasing was added, Pepijn gasped and looked up to the elder man. Not sure what to make of the comment, he just gazed. As discrete as possible, he grabbed one of the cream cotton pillows and smacked it in the face of his date. “D-don’t...” He gasped as he pulled the pillow back and wrapped his arms around it. His head was bright red and he hid it in the pillow. The words sounded to him like Jason didn’t mean them. But then again, Pepijn never received compliments so when he got them in a teasing way, he didn’t took them serious.

Another question came up and he finally dared to lift his head again. “Uhm.. well.. Actually.. w-would you b-believe me if I t-told you that ehm I-I actually never wanted t-to go to H-Hogwarts..?” He said in a soft voice as he began to play his fingers around the pillow. “E-ever since I-I was young, I w-wanted t-to be either a ch-chemist o-or a surgeon.” The words continued in a equally soft and weak mumbling as he slowly leaned back on Jason again. “W-well, after Hogwarts I-I wanted to t-try out for t-the U-university. I got denied. So yeah...” Biting his lip at the memories of his failures, he shook his head and was glad that Jason started to talk.

“Y-you worked at t-the ministry r-right? T-that sounds e-exhausting.” He was sure that he had mentioned Jason say that, only he never was told which department. As the man of the house mentioned the little girl, Pepijn smiled a little to him. Jason often talked about her and he seemed very fond of her, which was cute and good, he thought. For as far as he could tell was Jason a hard working father. “W-where is she now?” He asked, wondering if the little kid will be all right without her daddy. Feeling a little guilty from stealing him away from her, he took another sip of the beer.

The blonde man simply kicked his shoes off and then told him to make himself comfortable. Nodding, he bend over to loosen the laces of his vans. Carefully he took them off and placed then away. When he moved back again, he listened to the words which made him go all red again. Pepijn hated the fact that he turned red at every tiniest flirting attempt or physical contact. It made him look weak, he thought. Remembering one of the things David would do in such a situation, he figured that he would try it too.

Moving his feet so they touched those of Jason, he nervously grinned. “W-well t-the usual stuff, I-I guess.” He said the words but had no idea what ‘the usual stuff’ was. It was something David said to his girls and it often went smooth. Only Pepijn didn’t have the confidence his friend had. Oh yeah now was step two coming, he remembered. As he pushed himself up and slowly moved his head closer to that of the other man. ‘Now say the words’ he told himself in his head. “Ehm... O-or or w-w-we...” His stutter was even worse than usual. God damn it, this stuff looked so easy when David did it. ‘Come on it is not that hard. Just say: Or we could do this. And then give the man a kiss. You fool, you cannot do anything.’ Echoed in his head as he quickly decided to pull back. “Ah. I-I am so-rry.” He mumbled as he clamped unto the pillow he had claimed a little.

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When Pepijn turned to smile up at Jason he felt himself relax to a certain point. Part of him didn't know what he would do if the curly haired man rejected him at something so basic, it wasn't that he wanted the touching... well of course he did, but it wasn't necessary. He just wanted the younger of the pair to feel comfortable in his presence. There would be nothing worse then Pepijn feeling he had to be with him simply because of what others 'expected'. Jason wasn't a complete idiot, he could quite easily tell that Pepijn was still testing the waters so to speak so there was no way that he was going to push his date in any shape or form. It had to all be at Pepijns speed after all. Feeling the pillow suddenly smack against his face, Jason couldn't help but sit still in shock. He really hadn't been expected that at all, the surprise was definitely something that amused him however. Snorting lightly he tried to hold back a small chuckle that was developing in his chest. "Why should i not speak the words that are true?" he questioned while turning to gaze at Pepijn. Moving the arm that was around the black haired man slightly he managed to play with one of his random black curls. "I don't lie Pep," he stated while twisting the lock of hair in his fingers. That was one thing Jason prided himself in. While he may no have have always told the complete truth, he would never lie. 

When Pepijn brought up his reasons for medicine Jason simply smiled at him, nodding along with his words. He'd have to be careful, especially with his brother around. It was one of the most dangerous things possible, the closer Pepijn got to Jason the closer he got to danger with this love of muggle things. "Thats quite amiable," Jason agreed offering an understanding. While he himself had never been interested in that world at all, he would never hold it against others too. If anything he was slightly jealous of how the younger man could hold a love that he himself wished he could of had the chance to pursue. "Yeah, im at the ministry, in the law enforcement department. It pays the bills so i cant moan, that and i love what i do." As Pep went on to ask after the little girl Jason couldn't help but smile warmly, at first he'd feared that the knowledge he was a father would scare the man off but to see him taking an active interest in her was something that touched his heart. It gave him that bit more hope that this could last into the future and that he would accept her. "Chelsea is spending the night at a friends house  for a sleep over. Now and then the other mums at nursery insist on taking her so i can have a bit of a break, eventually i just gave up fighting them off" shrugging lightly he sighed in amusement. He'd been a single father for three years now, yes it was exhausting but he loved it... he loved her. She was his little girl after all so why would he care about the 'sacrifices' he'd made?

Placing his bottle on the floor as Pep took his shoes off he couldn't help but grin to himself, it seemed for once he'd found someone who would be good for him. When the pairs feet touched, Jason redirected his attention back to his date, as the man began to get closer to him Jason felt himself holding a blush back. Just what was going on? When the younger was close by Jason felt himself forget to breathe momentarily. The man hadn't even touched him and yet he was being effected in such a way... it'd been so long he hadn't realised he had become this sensitive to everything. When Pepijn suddenly pulled back and clamped on to the pillow, Jason took a moment to remind himself to take oxygen back in his lungs. Wow.... he couldn't help but think. If the day came that he would through with that Jason just knew he would be putty in the others hand. Gazing down at the retreated man Jason grinned a lop sided smile before leaning forward and taking him in his arms so that he was held close. "Shh.." he tried to comfort before placing a kiss on the top of Peps head. "Nothing needs to happen so please dont force yourself. I dont expect anything like that to happen yet, its still early days. We'll just do this at our own pace even if its just cuddling up and watching television for the next year," part of him knew he was being too expectant when he mentioned years but he just wanted Pepijn to get the idea that he wasn't in it for the wrong reasons. "I need you to be honest with me Pep, that's the only way something like this will work. Just tell me if you ever want me to back off and let go or if you want more... ok?" Looking his date in the eyes he just hoped he wasn't scaring him off even more...

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“S-shut up. S-stop t-teasing m-e.” The curly haired man said, pouting and threatening with the pillow. He didn’t understand why Jason was saying all this and the words confused him a little. Perhaps it was just that he wasn’t used to being flirted with and receiving compliments. As he noticed that the elder male was playing with his black curls, he cringed a little as he turned red, again. Hearing the words that came after didn’t help much either, so he snuggled his face into the chest of the muscular man, to hide his embarrassment. Hearing Jason stating that he wasn’t lying, he managed to pull his face up again. Still he could not believe that someone like Jason was attracted to him. Men like Jason usually got the pretty girls with a sweet face, large breasts, a tiny waist and nice hips. Not insecure wallflowers like Pepijn. Why was Jason even doing this? The blonde could get anyone with just smiling at that person. His mouth opened to say something, but he choose to move himself even closer against the other man. Wrapping his arm around him, Pepijn rested his head against the other man’s chest again.

The corners of his mouth curled up and he looked back up again. Not knowing if he should say something now, he just nodded and blinked a little. “N-nice t-to hear t-that you like y-your job. B-being a healer is o-okay I-I guess.” He said with a soft smile as the elder man spoke about his job. Jason really seemed to love his work, which was always good of course. It would be rather boring if you didn’t like what you did. Law enforcement, sounded quite exiting and apparently it paid enough. Pepijn didn’t make much as a trainee but he will once he would be a full healer. Perhaps he could even move out of his mother’s house.

Listening to the other man talking about his daughter, he felt a little warm from the inside. It was just too sweet, Jason seemed really like a kind and hard working father. Only Pepijn could not help but feel already sorry for mingling in between their happy little family. What if she didn’t like him? He would not stay if she didn’t want him to. “I-I just h-hope t-that that is t-the only r-reason w-why you had t-to f-fu-fight them off.” He tried to joke a little, imagining Jason getting attacked by a bunch of young single moms.

Feeling incredibly embarrassed with his failed flirting attempt, he kept himself safely hidden in his pillow. Feeling that he began to tremble a little, he tried to calm himself down at all cost. Why was he acting like this in front of the person he really wanted to give a good image of himself. It was not fair, he hated his nerves more than anything. They hampered him in almost everything. He totally stressed out any time something important was about to happen. Feeling warm arms around him, he suddenly felt a little more comfortable. Perhaps Jason would at least understand that he tried. It was not that he did not want it, it was just that everything he found himself even a little bit exited, just panicked. Through his thick curls he felt something that seemed like a kiss.

Groaning a little as he was sure that god already was punishing him for his sins. Listening to the words coming from the person that held him, he just nodded with his head still in the pillow. “S-sor-ry. I-I... j-just.. ah. uh.. I-I h-have n-ne-ver b-been... w-ith a m-man b-before.” He admitted as most of his sound was absorbed by the pillow. He wanted to let Jason know that it was not him being in the wrong. To be honest, he had felt more comfortable with Jason than with any girl yet. Somehow he wanted to let the older man notice that he really liked him, just didn’t know how. “T-truly... I w-want t-to.. eh..”

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As Pepijn brought himself to somehow manage to curl up to Jason, the blonde haired male couldn't help but hold back the joy inside. Just the idea that he was wanted in such a way managed to bring a soft but confident smile to his face. Some may have said Jason was mad for turning down the multiple offers of other men and women and going with the nervous man before him instead but Jason felt very different on the matter. Pepijn was pure and had an innocent honesty about him that was very rare, if anything it made him the much more perfect then others would even consider to think.Jason knew that he could loose himself in his thoughts along with his emotions around the younger man and not have to worry, he was finally with someone he could trust and let in. It was something he hadn't done in a good few years. As Pepijns arm wrapped around Jason, he used his own spare arm to engulf the man in a hug. Jason really couldn't help but inwardly melt at the cuteness of the whole situation.

"Fight them off?" He chuckled softly with his eyebrows raised. He'd never really thought about it before, but surely they were doing it for the sake of the children? Either way spending time with her friends was what made Chelsea happy so he'd sit there through the constant mugs of tea that he didn't enjoy or the pointless chitter chatter of the playground gossip that he really couldn't of cared less about. "Well either way its pointless for them. I've well and truly given up with women,".. and other men.. he added on silently in his mind. He didn't know why but just something about being with the man in his mind gave him hope for the future, part of him just couldn't help but feel like this would be it. Laughing softly at his own thoughts he shook his head, he really was getting carried away here, for all he knew next he'd be writing their names together with little hearts like some lovesick teenager.

Squeezing the embarrassed man, he placed another kiss on the top of the mans head just to prove that he really didn't mind, if anything he found Peps nerves as something quite adorable. When the admitted truth finally left Pepijns lips, although somewhat muffled by that of his stuttering and the pillow, Jason nodded in understanding. He knew there was bound to be a reason behind his reluctance. Part of him couldn't help but twinge and feel slightly put out, would the actions between them still be the same if he was a woman? Or would it be just as timid a situation? Either way Jason knew that he would just have to be more careful, he really did like Pep and if that meant doing everything on his terms then very well.  "It's no different," he tried to encourage softly as he rested his chin on top of Peps head, "liking someone shouldn't be defined by gender, its only on what you feel for them. Yet i know its scary just to get over the initial idea and get use to it."

"If anything Pep it makes me happy that I'm your first. It makes me feel like I'm partially special that you'd even consider it for me," Jason added out of honesty although at a whisper compared to his usual confident tone. It also meant that Pepijn was all his in a sense, maybe it was greedy or just possessive of him but it pleased Jason to know that no one else had touched the innocent one in his arms. Slowly lifting his head up again, he moved one of his hands to that he placed it under his dates chin. Tilting Peps head up out of the cushion he grinned gently and looked the curly haired man in the eyes. "I'm not going anywhere so there's no point in rushing." Leaning down Jason kissed Pepijn on the forehead wanting to test the waters to see if he could do things like that without being rejected, if it meant they took baby steps then so be it. Pulling back he moved to rest his forehead against Peps so they were eye to eye. "Try to not think of whats right and wrong, just listen to what your heart wants," it had sounded better in his mind then out loud but Jason meant it. Yes it was incredibly cheesy and nothing like what he'd usually say but it was the truth. Now and then everyone just needed to be selfish to forget about what was expected from them and enjoy life while they still could...

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“Yes, f-fight t-them off. Don’t act like you are s-suprised M-mr. Andrews, I t-thought you said you weren’t a l-liar.” He TRIED to tease the elder man a little. Poking Jason in his waist, he put up a little teasing smile that he had not showed much around lately. “C-come on, Jase. Y-you are like t-the guy every g-girl dreams about a-an wish t-to m-marry. E-even if you d-didn’t w-want t-they could still...” Despite the teasing, it was still the truth. Jason was kind, funny and don’t forget really handsome. Pepijn actually never considered dating another man before he met Jason. He was pretty sure that one day he would find a woman who was patient enough to bare him. Who would have thought that the wo-part would be left out. The timid man still could not believe that Jason choose him. Perhaps he would never understand why. Raising his eyebrows slightly as the blonde told him he had given up on woman. “S-so, i-if I was a g-girl, you w-would not have w-wanted me?” He pouted a little as he faked a sad look on his face. “T-thank god I am a m-man.” He chuckled a little.

As he felt the strong arms tightening around him and another kiss on his head, he smiled a little to himself. Still clamping unto the pillow, he felt a little relieved that he didn’t scare the man off by his stupidity. Yet when he had tried to explain himself he only felt embarrassed a little more. Dear god what would Jason think of him now, it was not fair, he really should learn how for control himself. Feeling the chin of the taller man resting on his cushion of black curls, the arms still wrapped around him, he felt like he wore a shield of love around him or a rather big teddy bear. Listening when Jason said that being with a woman or a man was not much different, he tried to bit his lip. Not sure if he should tell that he didn’t have had sex with a woman either. Well he had kissed some girls and hugged but every time things were about to get even a little more exiting, he seemed to just overload and not know what to do.

When he heard Jason say something about being happy being his first man, made him feel like he was melting from the inside. It was strange but he would never considered someone saying something like that. “Ahm.. J-jase.. I-I-ee.. I h-haven-t... d-done..urh.. m-mor-re t-th-than k-kissing...” Falling all over his words again as he admitted to be a twenty year old virgin. Surly he could have lost it at the age of 18 but he was stupid enough no more naive enough wanting to wait for someone special. A thought that was really out of this age.

As his chin was lifted, Pepijn was a little startled and blinked like he had some piece of dust in his eyes. Gasping as he heard the words of the shortly shaved man and feeling a little kiss on his forehead. Closing his eyes when the kiss happened, he didn’t pull back. It was not that it was unpleasant, it was just a little unexpected. Still the corners of his mouth lifted a little as a light red blush appeared on his pale face. Jason pulled back and shortly after, he was gazing into a pair of gorgeous crystal blue eyes. The words sounded rather cheesy and they made the young healer chuckle a little. “O-oh J-Jase, d-do you watch t-to many r-romantic movies? V-very cheesy.” He said as his whole face brightened up a little from his embarrassment before. “Listen t-to what my h-heart want-ts, heh?” Tilting his head a little to the left, their lips were rather close, almost touching. As his heart began to pound quicker, his breathing also quickened and deepened a little. His heart said yes, but his mind said no, or was it his conscience, telling him that it was a sin to love another man. Raised in a Christian family, he was thought things like this were unnatural. Then again they weren’t really the most strict one. As in his father was a halfblood wizard after all, yet his family always claimed that magic was a gift from god. Still he had no idea if he was going to hell for feeling this way, how could this be a sin? It felt so right.